1. If a child says it’s chicken, it’s chicken. Never, ever disagree with this.

2. If you catch the scent of a poopy diaper, tell your toddler to run to Daddy saying “I have a poopy!” Do not let your husband catch you doing this.

3. Kids know that money comes from walls.

4. Poop comes in strange colors sometimes. Think about what you’ve been feeding your kids before calling the doctor.

5. If it’s on a plate, kids will be picky about eating. Not so if it’s on the ground.

6. Take time for yourself. Grocery shopping without the kids counts less than a quarter of what real time for yourself is.

7. Lock the bathroom door if you want privacy.

8. Let your kids get dirty. Have the camera ready.

9. There’s no such thing as a perfect kid. Or a perfect parent. Meltdowns happen, whether in communication or screaming on the floor.

10. It’s okay for to be completely out of style. If your toddler can wear pink and yellow stripes with a green and brown floral print, how bad can you possibly look?

Well, yes, bad since what looks cute on a toddler is terrible for an adult, but at least you have an excuse.

11. It’s okay to look goofy while dancing.

12. Sometimes it’s fun to have meals out of order.

Who says breakfast foods are just for breakfast? My son likes pickles and/or tuna for breakfast. It may be a bit strong for me, but just perfect so far as he’s concerned.

13. Kisses make many things better.

14. Kids are unashamed about asking for what they want.

15. A favorite lost toy may be a crisis of international proportions. Or so it will feel as you search for it.

16. You will learn obscure facts about your children’s favorite shows.

17. Finishing off the food your child doesn’t somehow seems normal, even if you’d never accept anyone else’s leftovers.

18. Potty habits of your young children are an easy topic of conversation, especially with other parents of young children.

19. Some days the best part of the day is after you put the kids to bed. Other times it’s the loneliest part of the day.

20. News about children getting hurt can make you cry.

For her 6th birthday, my dad sent my daughter a birthday card with dollar bills inside. Being a kid, she just tore the envelope open, and dollar bills went flying everywhere.

Now, she wasn’t all that impressed by the fact that she got money. No, she was impressed by who was on the dollar bills.

“How’d Papa know that’s my favorite president??” she squealed. She was completely and utterly delighted that her grandfather had sent her something with pictures of George Washington. That mattered more than anything else.

One of my favorite stories from when I was pregnant happened at the Renaissance Faire. I’d dressed up as best I could with a bulging 37 week pregnant tummy, and people loved asking me how far along I was.

The answer, however made them nervous.

Just about every time I said “37 weeks” the person’s eyes would get huge and they’d take a quick step back, as though they expected me to give birth on their shoes or something. This reaction happened all over the place there.

My son has been resisting potty training for a long time. But last week he finally decided to start it in earnest. It all started as I changed his diaper before putting him down for a nap. He’d been playing Superman all day, blankie cape flowing behind him. He started to throw a tantrum as I tried to remove his diaper.

“Superman no wear diaper! Superman wear underpants!” he insisted.

As any other sensible mother would do, I took him up on that premise and informed him that in that case he would have to go use the potty. “Superman never wets his underpants,” I told him.

He was immediately agreeable and proceeded to use the potty. I’m probably lucky he didn’t demand Superman underpants. The Thomas the Tank Engine ones we had were perfectly acceptable.

It’s been just about a week now, with relatively few accidents involving pee. Poop… *sigh*… that’s another story. But today he promised me that he’d start pooping on the potty “very soon.” He even gave me two thumbs up with that statement.

And that cape has been on every day so far.

contributed by Rochelle

My friend and I were walking home from dropping our older kids off at school when she mentioned it was her son’s birthday. He has apparently decided that he’s younger now because he has to drop the “and a half” from his age.

Would that it were so easy!

contributed by Crystal

I feel like such a forgetful goofball sometimes. Can’t find my shoes half the time and it’s not always because my daughter took them for dressup. And of course they’re often right where I looked early on. How do they do that?

But the worst is when I start looking for something I’m already holding. Happens a lot with my car keys. They’re either in my hand already or so deep in my purse that I thinkI’ve reached into an alternate dimension to get them.

You know, that could explain a lot. Maybe it’s not ‘Mommy brain’. Maybe it’s the alternate realities playing tricks on me.