1. If a child says it’s chicken, it’s chicken. Never, ever disagree with this.

2. If you catch the scent of a poopy diaper, tell your toddler to run to Daddy saying “I have a poopy!” Do not let your husband catch you doing this.

3. Kids know that money comes from walls.

4. Poop comes in strange colors sometimes. Think about what you’ve been feeding your kids before calling the doctor.

5. If it’s on a plate, kids will be picky about eating. Not so if it’s on the ground.

6. Take time for yourself. Grocery shopping without the kids counts less than a quarter of what real time for yourself is.

7. Lock the bathroom door if you want privacy.

8. Let your kids get dirty. Have the camera ready.

9. There’s no such thing as a perfect kid. Or a perfect parent. Meltdowns happen, whether in communication or screaming on the floor.

10. It’s okay for to be completely out of style. If your toddler can wear pink and yellow stripes with a green and brown floral print, how bad can you possibly look?

Well, yes, bad since what looks cute on a toddler is terrible for an adult, but at least you have an excuse.

11. It’s okay to look goofy while dancing.

12. Sometimes it’s fun to have meals out of order.

Who says breakfast foods are just for breakfast? My son likes pickles and/or tuna for breakfast. It may be a bit strong for me, but just perfect so far as he’s concerned.

13. Kisses make many things better.

14. Kids are unashamed about asking for what they want.

15. A favorite lost toy may be a crisis of international proportions. Or so it will feel as you search for it.

16. You will learn obscure facts about your children’s favorite shows.

17. Finishing off the food your child doesn’t somehow seems normal, even if you’d never accept anyone else’s leftovers.

18. Potty habits of your young children are an easy topic of conversation, especially with other parents of young children.

19. Some days the best part of the day is after you put the kids to bed. Other times it’s the loneliest part of the day.

20. News about children getting hurt can make you cry.

My son has been resisting potty training for a long time. But last week he finally decided to start it in earnest. It all started as I changed his diaper before putting him down for a nap. He’d been playing Superman all day, blankie cape flowing behind him. He started to throw a tantrum as I tried to remove his diaper.

“Superman no wear diaper! Superman wear underpants!” he insisted.

As any other sensible mother would do, I took him up on that premise and informed him that in that case he would have to go use the potty. “Superman never wets his underpants,” I told him.

He was immediately agreeable and proceeded to use the potty. I’m probably lucky he didn’t demand Superman underpants. The Thomas the Tank Engine ones we had were perfectly acceptable.

It’s been just about a week now, with relatively few accidents involving pee. Poop… *sigh*… that’s another story. But today he promised me that he’d start pooping on the potty “very soon.” He even gave me two thumbs up with that statement.

And that cape has been on every day so far.

I was walking my daughter to school the other day, and she suddenly announced that she was going to start a church when she grew up. I was of course curious why.

“So that people have to give me money on Sunday,” she said, very seriously.

It didn’t take much discussion to find out that she figured she’d found a way to get rich. I gently explained to her that that’s not a great reason to start a church.

contributed by Kara

My daughter really wanted some candy, but it was her bedtime so I told her no. She begged and begged and begged. Finally my husband offered a deal.

She could have a piece of candy tonight, and have no more the rest of the week, or she could have candy once a day the rest of the week. We’re finishing off Easter candy, so it’s pretty available just now.

She chose one piece tonight. That’s kids for you. They can’t see beyond the immediate most of the time. Should be an interesting week.

My son woke up at about 2 the other morning, just crying for Mommy, so I went in to check on him. He couldn’t be consoled by anything other than my presence, so I lay down to snooze with him for a while. He kept tossing and turning, and finally asked if we could go to my bed to sleep.

So we tried that. He fell asleep for about an hour, then suddenly sat up.

“This not working!” he said in the most frustrated voice.

The rest isn’t so cute, since he threw up after, but I still crack up thinking about the tone of voice he was using.

I was walking my daughter home from school today, and she asked me if there would be school tomorrow. Her teacher had told her about how she was going to vote for President tomorrow.

I reassured her that yes, school would continue as usual, since voting only takes a little time. I added that I would be voting while she was at school.

“Mommy, I don’t want you to vote,” was her reply.

“Why not?”

She looked away. “I don’t want you to pick me as President.”